How to overpay it in Paris
There are a thousand ways to get ripped off in Paris—and some have become full-blown tourist rituals. Here’s how to stop donating to the Parisian scam economy.
Overpriced espressos, concept stores dressed in vintage drag, mineral water branded like a handbag... Behind the polished image of good taste and the promises of French art de vivre, it’s often just emptiness (and your wallet) that gets hollowed out. Here's a short guide to the very Parisian art of getting less than what you pay for.
Sitting badly drinking badly at Le Café de la Paix
As the saying goes, “even on the highest throne in the world, you’re still sitting on your ass.” A legendary address on the Grands Boulevards, the Café de la Paix is as famous for its Napoleon III decor as for its spot on the Monopoly board. Inaugurated in 1862, the place is a pale shadow of its former self (and has been for a while). It may very well be the worst seat in Paris: white chairs of questionable taste and a burnt espresso for 7 euros. That’s a steep price for hemorrhoids.
—> If you're after an institution, quality coffee, and a charming backdrop, head to Café Verlet instead — 256 Rue Saint-Honoré, 75001 Paris.
Lining up to get snubbed at Officine Universelle Buly
Probably Americans’ favorite scam: brand-new stores pretending to be centuries-old, throwing around sketchy Balzac references, dressing their sales staff like model students, and—of course—recently acquired at a premium by LVMH. And guess who’s footing the bill for Buly’s ROI? These stores are a perfect storm of everything awful about modern consumerism: class snobbery, overpriced goods, iffy quality, zero customer service, and marketing gone wild. Buly is to lifestyle what Le Café de la Paix is to coffee: an empty shell, filled with consumers who’ve never lived anything real.
—> If you’re looking for a shop where you can treat yourself to a small gift wrapped in beautiful paper, you’d be better off heading to La Trésorerie, 11 rue du Château d’Eau, 75010 Paris.
Slurping Gillardeau oysters when you can taste the ocean
Laser etched, sold like handbags, and priced at over €50 a kilo. Gillardeau oysters have perfected the luxury trick: charging top dollar for something others do better, for less. Beneath the polish, a sterile oyster, bred to be plump all year round, genetically engineered for efficiency rather than flavor. No connection to the seasons. No sense of place. An oyster without a story. What you’re buying isn’t an oyster. It’s a brand.
Meanwhile, in Paris, committed oyster farmers hold their ground in open-air markets. Their oysters grow slowly, with the tides. They carry the taste of a region, a craft, a season. They cost less. Fourteen euros where I go. And they taste better. Gillardeau sells you a signature. These farmers offer you the ocean.
—> If you’re looking for natural oysters that follow the rhythm of the seasons, and you’d rather give your money to a committed and hardworking oyster farmer than to a multinational brand, head to Thalassa Tradition. You’ll find them every Sunday at the Boulevard Richard Lenoir market, near Place de la Bastille, on the even-numbered side of the street.
Breaking the bank for a to-go espresso at Belleville Brûlerie
I recently moved to the 19th arrondissement. Walking up Rue Armand Carrel toward Buttes-Chaumont, I’m often caught by a delicious smell of roasting coffee. One day I stepped into the lovely Belleville roastery. I ordered an espresso—to go, of course, since they don’t have tables. So: a paper cup. Charged 4 euros. Let’s be clear: the coffee was excellent, and I know Belleville does great work with sourcing and roasting. But when, exactly, did the specialty coffee hype decide that a takeout espresso should cost 4 euros? Especially absurd when the roastery is located in a still relatively working-class neighborhood, and that espresso should be a calling card—not an elitism test. Personally, I’ve had just as good, for less, elsewhere.
—> If you want a proper coffee without selling a kidney for it, I’d recommend heading to Brûle de la Folie Méricourt, 58 Rue de la Folie Méricourt, 75011 Paris.
Drinking Evian water sponsored by Pharrell Williams
Pharrell sings, dances, does the styling for Vuitton, “curates” art shows of female artists at Perrotin’s Gallerie (his name in huge letters, the artists’ in tiny ones : they are women after all…), and still finds time to slap his signature on a bottle of mineral water. What’s striking about the smallness of the world’s biggest stars is how insatiable they are. Only those on Vuitton’s payroll (which is basically the entire press right now) can pretend to be impressed by a man vain enough to believe his name can change the taste of water. I don’t have harsh enough words for this generation of consumer-creators. Judge for yourself: the limited-edition “This is the Fountain of Youth” bottle is sold for 4 euros per liter on Evian’s website (only in packs of 20—glass bottles, to be fair), while the exact same water goes for €0.66 per 1.5L bottle in packs of six. That’s a 789% markup. Happy ?
—> If you want real, good French mineral water, everyone knows you go for Volvic.
Choosing looks over taste at La Grande Épicerie du Bon Marché
Wandering the aisles of La Grande Épicerie is always a pleasure. You stroll through the beating heart of what the French call la gauche caviar—progressive bourgeois types who like to think they’re in touch with the people. Everything’s beautiful, clean, and the customers have really good hair. It’s the perfect place to pick up gifts and, with a bit of luck, you’ll get caught on camera by some vapid influencer filming yet another pointless reel. Then you reach the fruit and vegetable section, misted by discreet vaporizers, all gleaming colors and insane prices. And here comes the letdown: zero respect for seasons, terroirs, or growing methods. A place like this should be spotlighting the work of outstanding farmers. Instead, it’s just flavorless packaging. And not remotely worth the price.
Just a few steps away, you can get the opposite deal at the organic market on Boulevard Raspail. There, the products are actually good—but the prices are still outrageous, because, well… it’s the 7th arrondissement.
—> Looking for a grocery store that feels like a jewelry shop — sumptuous products, but also real respect for the seasons and the people who grow them? Head to Terroirs d’Avenir. They have several locations across Paris, you can go 7 rue du Nil, 75002 Paris
Wearing a red beret
If there’s one essential truth, it’s this: only tourists wear red berets. You might as well walk around with a target on your back that says, “I’m on vacation, I’ve got a wallet full of dollars, I have no idea what things cost—go ahead, use it, take advantage.”
—> If you’re dead set on a red beret, there’s nothing I can do for you. But for a proper marinière, Saint James or Agnès B. will treat you right.
This made me smile, you’re spot on for so many of them. La Grande Épicerie really does feel more like a fancy NYC grocer than a proper French primeur. But it’s my go-to for Thanksgiving cranberries, i know I will always find them there!
And if you’re tempted by the overpriced marché bio on Boulevard Raspail, try the primeur on Rue Saint-Placide & rue de Vaugirard instead, it’s in season and delicious.
A bull's eye on every shot!